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For the past few years, people have been able to hook up through the Positive Connection, a website offering dating services for HIV sufferers. The service is the brainchild of Ben Sassman, a salesman living in Johannesburg. A few years ago, two of his friends told him they were HIV positive and that they had trouble dating. When they revealed their status, women invariably fled. Mr Sassman suggested online dating, but realised that existing services do not help those with HIV. So he launched www.

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This paper examines the approaches heterosexual men and women in South Africa use to engage their partners in discussions of HIV and risk factors in their relationships. These strategies entail balancing the risks of infection while managing the challenges of maintaining a relationship. In a context in which there is a great deal of insecurity in relationships it is especially challenging to discuss HIV risks with partners.

Our findings reveal that concerns about children or the desire to have children provided a legitimate basis for discussing HIV risk with partners. The focus of these discussions is on the future for their children. Research in South Africa should attend to men’s and women’s desires to have and to raise children. HIV prevention and treatment programs can capitalise on concerns regarding children, and the future of the family, to engage men and women in discussing mutually acceptable strategies for preventing infection and ensuring safe conception.

High rates of HIV infection in South Africa, together with the rollout of antiretroviral treatment, mean that increasingly men and women and their families are grappling with long term infection, illness, and the fear of HIV transmission. International research on couples and families has highlighted the struggle to balance disease risks and illness while maintaining healthy relationships van Campenhoudt ; Cusick and Rhodes

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Ben Sassman, founder of the website, said “normal” dating sites do not ask you for your HIV status, which still leaves people who are HIV.

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The Positive Connection was launched in September , with a successful run for the first six years and membership numbers increasing rapidly. Ben Sassman, founder of the website, said “normal” dating sites do not ask you for your HIV status, which still leaves people who are HIV positive with the trauma or stress of disclosing their status to a new date. Sometimes it is for support, just a friend to talk to in a relaxed, informed environment.

I am also required by law to clearly mention on every page of the site that this is a dating site for people living with HIV-Aids,” Sassman said.

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