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Looking to the future: South African men and women negotiating HIV risk and relationship intimacy

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This paper examines the approaches heterosexual men and women in South Africa use to engage their partners in discussions of HIV and risk factors in their relationships. These strategies entail balancing the risks of infection while managing the challenges of maintaining a relationship. In a context in which there is a great deal of insecurity in relationships it is especially challenging to discuss HIV risks with partners. Our findings reveal that concerns about children or the desire to have children provided a legitimate basis for discussing HIV risk with partners.

The focus of these discussions is on the future for their children. Research in South Africa should attend to men’s and women’s desires to have and to raise children. HIV prevention and treatment programs can capitalise on concerns regarding children, and the future of the family, to engage men and women in discussing mutually acceptable strategies for preventing infection and ensuring safe conception.

High rates of HIV infection in South Africa, together with the rollout of antiretroviral treatment, mean that increasingly men and women and their families are grappling with long term infection, illness, and the fear of HIV transmission. International research on couples and families has highlighted the struggle to balance disease risks and illness while maintaining healthy relationships van Campenhoudt ; Cusick and Rhodes Here we are concerned with investigating how individuals attempt to discuss HIV risk and testing with their partners.

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Mabeo is a member of Positive Connection, the only Internet dating forum geared to people with HIV in South Africa, the country with more infections – over 5 million and counting – than any other. I still haven’t found anyone I’ve gotten romantically involved with, but I’m carefully going through the list. AIDS is no longer an automatic killer here. As in the United States, it has become a chronic illness for those with access to antiretroviral drugs.

Up to , South Africans are on treatment, well below the half-million deemed in urgent need of care but far more than a few years ago. Life insurance is an option for some with HIV, and medical advances make it easier to bear healthy children. Yet romance remains a fraught pursuit. Despite an adult HIV prevalence rate of about 20 percent, the stigma attached to the disease remains harsh. HIV-negative people, not surprisingly, want to stay virus-free, site members say, and are likely to bolt if a partner discloses positive status.

Members are gay and straight, white and black, secretaries and bankers, with one other tie: access to the Internet.

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For the past few years, people have been able to hook up through the Positive Connection, a website offering dating services for HIV sufferers. The service is the brainchild of Ben Sassman, a salesman living in Johannesburg. A few years ago, two of his friends told him they were HIV positive and that they had trouble dating. When they revealed their status, women invariably fled. Mr Sassman suggested online dating, but realised that existing services do not help those with HIV.

So he launched www.

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But his contribution turned out to be significant. The website has more than registered members today, one of the biggest of its kind worldwide, with members from Thailand to Kenya. The Johannesburg businessman, who provides stone for road building, said he never expected such a huge response. I’m happy to have done what I can. At what point do you tell somebody who you like that you are HIV-positive? He said if he told girls his status, they would run away.

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Rosenberger, Ph. H, “available data shows that HIV epidemics among gay men and other MSM [men who have sex with men] have expanded in most low-, middle- and upper-income demographics. During his presentation, Rosenberger said that non-intervention studies have shown that, compared with non-app users, app users are more likely to be younger and better educated. Although “outness” about sexual orientation varied across studies, in all studies of men who met sex partners online, users were more likely to report multiple sex partners yet also higher rates of HIV testing.

The majority of men from these studies endorsed the idea that apps and online forums were acceptable sources of sexual health information. However, one study of sexual health content specific apps found that HIV-specific apps were minimally downloaded and not highly rated. Jack Harrison-Quintana, director of Grindr for Equality, discussed that company’s efforts to politically engage its community of users.

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